Life as of late...

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here, that I'm not sure where to start. Lets see......on the 27th of August the boys moved into their dorm room, and a week later my best friend moved to Minnesota. It has been a struggle to say the least. I've had some pretty bad bouts of depression, but I'm pushing through it. I know that as time goes, this free time that I have will be something that I enjoy. Honestly though...at times I feel like there's a huge hole in my heart...in my life. I even think I've went through some mourning stages....sadness, anger...now it's just learning to accept and getting back to living.

I never thought I'd miss the noise of the TV always being on at obnoxious levels of loudness, the shouting during their Xbox gaming....just the all in all ruckus that's in your day to day life when you have kids. Boy I really miss all of that....I find that I turn on the TV now just to have the noise...and I don't really like the TV! The boys were able to come home the first couple of weekends and I couldn't wait to see them, I'd cry during the week, I'd cry when I see them, then I'd cry when they'd leave...uugghh I've been such a mess!! Brandon's dog Kula even gets depressed when they leave. She recovers quickly though and it only lasts about a day or so, I wish I could say the same for me.

I think I've always had this grand idea that when the boys left for college that my best friend and I would be able to pal around a lot more...more road trips...rock and gem shows...beach trips...just more time together. We really were attached at the hip....so much so, my parents call her their daughter and my boys call her their 2nd mom. She just lived up the hill from me and though there were some days that we didn't see each other...I knew that she was just a hop, skip and a jump away if I ever needed her. We still talk quite a bit...I still call her on my breaks at work, and we talk a few nights during the week, but it's just not the same. I miss our late coffee nights sitting in the Starbucks parking lot sipping on our drinks, people watching and just bs'ing about anything and everything. I just miss her!

Friends and family have been great....all being very supportive and trying to find ways to bring me out of the depression, or giving me helpful articles on how to cope when your kids go to college. It's funny because you never really realize how wrapped up in your kids' lives you are until they're gone. Then all of a sudden there's nothing...well not "nothing" but you get the picture. What was the norm is gone and everything foreign is in it's place. I've been trying to think of things that I put off when I started my family....things that I've always wanted to do, but couldn't because I had kids....I haven't really found anything yet, but I'm sure as the fog lifts those things will come to light.

Things have gotten better though, I'm not crying as often, and I'm even starting to work in my studio again. Just a little at a time but that's definitely proof that I'm heading in the right direction! I'll be driving up to the University on Friday to see the boys and to take them to dinner. I'll smother them in hugs, kisses and I love you's and after a couple of hours say goodbye again. I'll memorize every new whisker on their chin and notice again how much more they're looking like men rather than the young boys that left home just a month ago. Instead of thinking about the quiet home that I'll be going back to, I'll think about how proud I am of them and how blessed I feel to be their mom. Now that'll be a step in the right direction!

FAFSA, Scholarships and Grants Oh My!

Well being a parent of seniors is not easy, especially when it comes to preparing them for college! So I decided today that I wanted to share some of the resources that I use or have used to help finance my boys' college education.

Definitely sign your child up at www.fastweb.com . It's an unlimited resource for scholarships that your child can and may qualify for. My boys have applied for over a dozen scholarships each...so far.

Another is www.getcollegefunds.com . Another great site with unlimited resources and information on various scholarships and grants. Now granted this site is for Oregon, but each state has a similar site.

Yourself and your child will have to fill out a FAFSA form. You'll find this at www.fafsa.ed.gov . This will let the prospective college and yourself know what additional financial aid or grants that you may qualify for.

If you're a parent of multiples sign up for a local Mothers of Twins group...or something similar in your area. I had no idea these type of clubs existed! Not only do they offer support for mom's but they also offer scholarships for multiples. That would've been good to know!

Some other great facts that I found out, was that they're are schools, mostly in the eastern states, that offer a 2 for 1 deal or a really nice discounts for twins or multiples entering college. Also a lot of colleges offer automatic scholarships. A lot of these depends on what the students average GPA was in high school and their SAT scores, but hey, every little bit helps!

As I do more searching for resources I'll post them here in case any of you are interested.

Surviving Homecoming

It was the boys last Homecoming Dance...and though hectic we survived :) It was an Asian themed dance and I wish I had pictures of the coronation from the Homecoming football game, I wasn't able to attend because we were working on the archway for the dance. We made the archway out of bamboo, then after a bunch of failed attempts to create a peak at the top we decided to leave it flat and added paper latterns using candles that were battery operated to illuminate them.

Chris was a Prince on prom court again, and I think for the first time it kind of bugged Brandon that he wasn't. As a parent of twins it's really hard to be excited for one and really bummed for the other. I know that there will be many times in their lives that one will achieve or receive something that the other can't or won't be able to get, but it still doesn't stop my heart from hurting. I guess that's just part of being a mom huh?

Well that pretty much was my weekend in a nutshell! I can remember the days of no responsibility, being able to come and go when I choose, and partying until the sun came up...those were the days. Though I reminisce fondly about those days...I wouldn't change a thing. Plus I don't think I could party til the sun comes up anymore....my body just can't take that kind of abuse anymore!