Sunday, August 24, 2008

Turning of the Wheel

As summer is coming to an end, and fall is nearing, I'm finding a need for changes in my life. The changes are more spiritual then anything else, but in the end it affects all of my surroundings.

This summer has been very trying for me spiritually. I found myself disconnected, alone, angry, sad, pretty much just feeling lost. Somehow I lost the careful balance that I hold between my spiritual life and my material mundane life. I was being sucked into everything that I've always been able to keep at an arms length. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I needed to experience all of those challenges to realize and reaffirm the path that I'm walking.

It really all came to a head after going to FaerieWorlds. The festival was all that is magickal in this world. It was a truly enchanting 5 days that I got to spend in Eugene. I spent those days reconnecting with old friends, meeting new ones and just enjoying my time with so many wonderful souls. I danced, hugged, frolicked and just reveled in the freedom of self expression. I was me.

When I arrived at home, it felt like I left part of myself in Eugene. Home didn't feel like home and the world felt like it was suffocating me again. I soon realized that I had been feeling like this for awhile. After a lot of soul searching and finally feeling connected again, I'm making changes. Cleaning house so to speak. First was relearning how to create that balance in my life.

I'm a tree hugging, Goddess loving, hippie at heart, and I no longer want to keep that side of me in the broom closet. Don't worry, I'm not an in your face kind of person so I haven't swung to the complete opposite side of the spectrum. I'm slowly working my way to the middle, where I can enjoy the best of both the mundane and spiritual worlds. I'm not there yet, and I know that I still have a few bumps in the road ahead of me before I get there, but I'm at a place in my life where the path has been laid and I'm happily reclaiming it.

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